Can you hide your child's gender?

A Toronto couple has decided not to reveal the gender of their baby.

Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are intentionally raising a genderless child in hopes of freeing them from social norms, so that they can choose to be whoever they would like to be.

Storm, born on New Year's Day, has two older brothers — Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2 — whose genders are known, but who have been encouraged by their parents to feel free to make their own choices, gender irrelevant. Both boys wear clothing that is traditional associated with girls — sparkly pants, tutus — and Jazz chose to be home-schooled when he was uncomfortable the traditional school atmosphere (and its reaction to his female clothing).

“What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious,” says Stocker. I find this quote a little ironic, because it seems as though these parents have made a pretty critical choice about their child's identity.

I appreciate where the parents' heads are at, but I don't agree with their decision. I think that they are imposing their own political values and social goals on their child in a way that may make life more difficult, unfairly so. Like Diane Ehrensaft, a California-based psychologist, I worry that they will unintentionally marginalize Storm.

Depending on how long Storm's gender is kept a secret, they may be subjected to unfair treatment at school by their peers. While even the most "normal" child can get bullied, intentionally creating a situation in which they are different from other children may be unfair. If the child grows up on wants to reject standard gender identifiers, that's one thing, but to impose that value on a baby seems a bit unreasonable.

As Jezebel rightly points out, Witterick and Stock made the gender of their child more of an issue, not less. If they really wanted their child to be who they really are, why don't they disclose the gender and let them be free to dress however they like, like the older boys? Why this need to keep it a secret?

At the end of the day, it's really not our business and much of the media's reaction to this story is out of fear for the "other," for people who don't identify as male or female. It's trumped up and reactionary.

If the child decides on their own that they want to be gender neutral, then that is fine by me. In the mean time, our society is not nearly as progressive as we like to think it is and that's quite a statement to put on such a young person.

Abercrombie sells push-up bikini tops for kids

Abercrombie Kids is selling push up triangle bikini tops. Let me reiterate that these are for kids. According to Sociological Images (where I first discovered this), Abercrombie Kids markets their products towards 7 - 14 year olds, and the average age of puberty is 12. Don't you think their target audience is a little young to be enhancing their cleavage?

I don't know why any of this shit from Abercrombie surprises me anymore. Here's just a sample of some other offensive and sexist clothing they've produced:

• In 2002 Abercrombie Kids had to remove a line of thong underwear sold for girls in pre-teen children's sizes after parents mounted nationwide storefront protests. The underwear included phrases like "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink" printed on the front.


• In 2004 they got in trouble for a sexist and offensive tshirt that said "L is for Loser" next to a picture of a male gymnast on the rings.


• In 2005 they came out with tshirts displaying sexist messages such as "Available for parties," "Who needs brains when you have these?" and "I had a nightmare I was a brunette."


• A tshirt controversy arose again over A&F's Back-to-School 2009 collection of "humor tees." One shirt proclaims "Show the twins" above a picture of a young woman with her blouse open to two men. Two other shirts state "Female streaking encouraged" and "Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research."
  Source: Abercrombie & Fitch product criticism - Wikipedia
  
  

Feminist action figures!

Ok, so this ad is just for fun, but how cool would it be if a toy manufacturer actually made feminist action figures? I would totally buy these Brontë Sisters Power Dolls for the budding young feminist in my life!

Girls entering puberty and growing breasts as young as seven

From the Globe and Mail:

Girls as young as 7 and 8 are developing breasts and entering puberty earlier than they did just one decade ago.

A recent study published in the journal Pediatrics, looked at 1,239 girls aged 6 to 8. By age 7, 15% have started developing breasts; by age 8, that number increases to 27%. Those numbers are alarming because they're significantly higher than numbers reported in a landmark study from 1997, which showed that only 5% of white girls had those signs of puberty at age 7.

Additionally, overweight or obese girls are far more likely to grow breasts at an early age. Race is another contributing factor: The study found that 23% of black girls begin puberty at age 7, compared to 15% of Hispanic girls and 10% of white girls.

The danger of girls maturing physically at such a young age is that they may look like teenagers - and may be treated like sexually mature young women while they are actually still children. The authors of the study also mention other dangers associated with early onset of puberty: “Earlier maturation in girls is associated with lower self-esteem and less favourable body image, as well as greater rates of eating problems, depression and suicide attempts. They were more likely to be influenced by deviant peers, with earlier onset of sexual intercourse.”

Should kids be pole dancing for fitness?

There's a really interesting article in the Calgary Herald today about Tantra Fitness, a company that operates in BC, which offers pole dancing classes for kids.



Tammy Morris, owner of Tantra Fitness, says that pole dancing does not have to be erotic. Pole dancing is a great work out that requires fitness and technique. Morris acknowledges that the activity is steeped in sexual history, but nonetheless, thinks any moral panic around its instruction to young people is misplaced. She says that children don't associate the pole as a sexual thing - they see poles at the playground or in the circus, and just see it as something fun to play on.



So, is pole dancing just a fun way for girls to get some exercise, or is there something sinister about sending your daughter to a pole dancing class?



On the one hand, I can totally see Tammy Morris's point. If I was a 9 year old girl, I would probably LOVE to swing around on the pole, hang upside down and learn all kinds of cool tricks. The problem is that pole dancing is inherently sexual... in our society everyone associates it with erotic dancing. So, while it may be perfectly legal to teach pole dancing to kids, our society dictates that it's immoral.



Scanning through the comments on this article, I see that almost everyone is disgusted or outraged by this idea. I am still undecided... what do you think?

Study suggests kids of lesbians have fewer behavioral problems

CNN Reports:

A nearly 25-year study concluded that children raised in lesbian households were psychologically well-adjusted and had fewer behavioral problems than their peers.



"This study shows that the 17-year-old adolescents who have been reared by lesbian families are psychologically happy and high functioning," said Dr. Nanette Gartrell, a Williams distinguished scholar at the UCLA School of Law. Restrictions of child custody and reproductive technologies based on sexual orientation are not justified, she said.

Children from lesbian families rated higher in social, academic and total competence. They also showed lower rates in social, rule-breaking, aggressive problem behavior.

The involvement of mothers may be a contributing factor, in addition to the fact that the pregnancies were planned, Gartrell said.

The children "didn't arrive by accident," she said. "The mothers were older... they were waiting for an opportunity to have children and age brings maturity and better parenting."

This also could have occurred because "growing up in households with less power assertion and more parental involvement has been shown to be associated with healthier psychological adjustment," Gartrell wrote in the study.

Read the full story.

Who Had the REAL Weapons of Mass Destruction?

In the Iraqi city of Fallujah there has been a recent increase in the levels of birth defects. Some are blaming weapons used by the United States after the Iraq invasion. The city was heavily bombed in 2004, and ruble from bombed buildings was dumped into the river. Citizens use that river for drinking water, which some suspect may be the cause of the birth defects.

A doctor reports that she is seeing 2 or 3 cases a day of serious birth defects in children. Some are born with too many fingers and toes, some are brain damaged or paralyzed, many have cardiac defects, one was born with three heads, and other problems are so graphic and horrible that media outlets, such as the BBC, couldn't bear to show the images.

The birth defects are so common and horrific that officials are now advising women not to have children.

An independent investigation is required to determine if the cause of the birth defects is in fact from the American bombs. Although it has yet to be proven, many in the city of Fallujah blame the Americans. And if that's true, it begs the question: Who had the REAL weapons of mass destruction?

The BBC has a short video documentary about this, which I highly recommend. A warning though, the images are very graphic and the story is extremely sad.

Monday's Show - Baby Fever

Join us on Monday night for our show on Baby Fever, which is an overwhelming feeling or desire to have children that many women experience. If your womb has ever ached upon holding a baby or playing with young children, then you know all about Baby Fever. Most women get it at some point in their lives - usually the feelings grow stronger as a women ages from her early twenties to mid thirties. However, women can experience Baby Fever at any time: some women know from a very young age that they want to be mothers, and others don't realize it until they're in their 40's - or later. Of course, it is also completely natural for some women to never experience this feeling or have a desire to procreate.

We'll be discussing some of the reasons why most women experience Baby Fever, the big decision that many women struggle with (to have children or not?), and one of the most challenging questions for feminists: can women really have it all (a partner, a fabulous career and children)?

Tune in on Monday December 14 from 8:30 to 9:00 pm (MST) on CJSW 90.9 fm. You can also listen to our program online at www.cjsw.com.

Disney's first Black Princess - with curly hair!

The Princess and the Frog - a new movie opening December 11 - features Disney's first Black princess! And what makes this even more interesting is that Tiana the princess has a fairly natural Black 'do: curls and a coif!

This is big news. If you've been following us at Yeah What She Said for a while, you'll know that Black women's hair is a hot topic right now. First Mattell made new Black Barbies, some featuring more "natural" hair styles. Then Chris Rock released Good Hair - a documentary that explores Black women's hair and the reasons why they relax it, straighten it, buy weaves and generally spend tons of money and time on their hair. Then we did a show on Black women's hair a few weeks ago... and now this, a Black princess with curly hair!

This weekend little Black girls all over North America will watch The Princess and the Frog. They may be too young to understand the cultural implications of it all, but the importance is not lost on their Moms. One mom says, "I'm probably more excited about this than my daughter… she doesn't realize the history of it." Another writes: "…It would be a mistake to overlook the significance of [Princess Tiana's] coif."

If anyone sees the movie, let us know what you think of it.

New Black Barbie Dolls – Fab or Flop?

Mattel has launched a new line of black Barbie dolls with fuller lips, wider noses and more pronounced cheek bones. This is an improvement over the older versions of black Barbie's: Christie, who debuted in the 1960’s, was essentially just a white doll painted dark.

The dolls come in varying skin tones – light brown, chocolate and caramel – and two of them have curlier hair to reflect natural black hair.

Designer Stacey McBride-Irby, who is black and has a six-year-old daughter, said she wanted to create a line of dolls that young black girls can relate to. “I want them to see themselves within these dolls, and let them know that black is beautiful,” she said.

Some folks have welcomed the dolls and are glad to see they are reflecting the unique physical features of black women. Also, the addition of varying shades of skin tone has been applauded by some, as there are many variations of skin colour within the black community.

Others, however, are saying the dolls’ hair is too straight and does not address the hair issues that many black girls struggle with. Concerns still remain about the dolls’ slim bodies, which have long come under fire for promoting an unrealistic body image.

As a child I loved Barbie and I personally think these new dolls are pretty cool. I really like that each doll comes with accessories that reflect their interests - math and music, drill team and science, art and journalism. However, I agree that they could have represented natural black hair more effectively. What do you think about the dolls – are they fab or a flop?

We Are Girls

I love this commercial, "We Are Girls" from Concerned Children's Advertisers (Health Canada). It's all about empowering girls to be their best and stay true to themselves. Right on!

More Gender Profiling; This Time, In Children's Books

Speaking of forced gender roles (and we'll hear a little bit more about that on tomorrow night's show), I feel obliged to re-post the following from a blogger who'd discovered this book in a library. Apparently it was a satirical book created by Whitney Darrow, Jr. and published in the 1970's. My guess, however, is that it would not be all too satirical in the hands of a 4 or 5 year old kid.

Have a look.

Teach Your Baby Girl How to Spend Money and Wear Lipstick! Essential Life Skills, People!

Fisher Price has developed probably the stupidest toy for baby girls that I've ever seen. It's called "My Pretty Learning Purse" and it comes with play jewelery and lipstick... because you know, jewelery and lipstick are essential to learning. The purse also comes with a dollar bill and a set of keys.

Sounds to me like Fisher Price is not-so-subtly trying to teach little girls what it means to be a woman. Clearly, it's all about spending money and lookin' good.

Naturally, there is a similar toy for boys (oh, how I hate gender-specific toys) except it's a TOOL BOX instead of a purse! Of course! The toolbox includes "manly" items like a screwdriver, hammer and saw.

Way to go Fisher Price for continuing to reinforce these rigid and outdated gender roles.

"Daddy Boom" in Germany

Fathers Day is coming up very shortly and in honor of all the fantastic Dads out there, I thought I'd post this short video documentary I discovered over at Current last year. It's about the apparent Daddy Boom in Germany where more men than ever before are taking on the stay-at-home parent role while women become the primary breadwinners in what are otherwise traditional families. In the video (posted below), two men are asked to talk about their experiences as stay-at-home dads and how this phenomenon of at-home daddies will shape the future of Germans.

I think the Daddy Boom in Germany says a lot about culture and all of its variables; many of us are used to women almost automatically being assigned the role of primary caregivers. Seeing men in this role is always a nice reminder to all of us - whether we're already comfortable with the idea or not - that men are capable of taking on this role and are likely to do it well with the right kind of social support.

Iris Evans Ignites Furor Over "Raising Kids Right"

Alberta's Finance Minister, Iris Evans, is in hot water over some recent comments she made regarding child rearing. Evans was in Toronto this week speaking about the importance of teaching children financial literacy, when she said that good parenting means sacrificing some income to stay at home while kids are young, as her children have done.

“They’ve understood perfectly well that when you’re raising children you don’t both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise,” Ms. Evans said. “This is not a statement against daycare. It’s a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly.”

Naturally, this has sparked outrage and debate across the country. I won't write too much about it here, because you can read plenty of articles online about it (this one and this one are good), but I will say this:

When you're a Minister in the provincial government, you can't say shit like this. Period. For most families, their financial reality is that both parents must work in order to earn enough income. Also, there is no such thing as a "proper" or "correct" family. Whatever works for your family is what's right. 'Nuff said.

Ms. Evans has apologized for her remarks, but debate and anger continues to rage on.

Tonight's Show - Women & Children Affected by War

On tonight's show Jennie and Geea will discuss how women and children are affected by war. We will be sharing a few examples from recent wars in Africa and the Middle East.

We will also be doing a brief interview with a representative from Engineers Without Borders. They are hosting their Annual Development Conference in Calgary on May 1 and 2, and their keynote speaker for Friday May 1st is a very inspirational woman. Dr. Samantha Nutt is the founder of War Child Canada, and she has dedicated her work to peace, human rights and social justice. Her ambition has always been to help war-affected women and children, and you can see her speak at the conference for just $25.