Monday, July 26, 2010

Top 7 reasons why American Apparel sucks

1. Internal documents reveal that ugly people shouldn’t bother applying at AA.

2. The company's Guide to Grooming describes in detail how staff should look. No bangs! No gauge earrings! No liquid foundation! No goatees or mustaches! No Uggs, flip flogs, gladiator sandals, vans, converse or winter boots! (Oh, no, we’re not a dictatorship. Whatever would make you think that?)

3. AA won’t make some of their women’s clothing above a size 6.

4. They doesn’t want any of those “trashy Black girls” to work there. Only the ones with the nice hair.

5. Current employees must submit photos to be promoted or receive a raise. Cos, you know, we don't want any uglies being promoted.

6. AA has a Best Bottom Contest to find the sexiest ass. Well, I don’t know about the sexiest ass, but I know who the biggest ass is… Don Charney (CEO of American Apparel).

7. They pretend that they're really progressive cos they don't photoshop their ads and they use "real women" to model their clothes. I guess "real women" only come in a size 4 or smaller and look about 16. And guess what? Sleazy porno-style ads aren't progressive and edgy. It's the same old shit that Calvin Klein has been doing since the 80's. Just admit that your ads are as sleazy as every other shitty clothing company and stop trying to pretend that you're so original and cutting edge.

Well, there is a light at the end of the tunnel... apparently AA is in pretty serious financial trouble.

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